BOOK: Everything Bad Is Good For You

Deciding to move my "book summary" posts from tumblr onto here. More streamlined and all that.

here's numero uno..

Everything Bad Is Good For You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter

By: Steven Johnson

PART ONE

     Games
Games for you to make decisions and prioritize tasks much more than literature which presents in a linear formation that takes you along a predetermined storyline. Within games, there are master objectives (say, saving the princess) as well as minor tasks that must be completed in order to reach the princess (destroying bad guys in order to reach a certain level or arena). Also, different mental skills are exercised by playing games. Instead of comparing video games to books, they would be more aptly compared to word problems which, similarly, have little to offer in way of moral lessons or psychological depth--we complain that video games have no substance and are just wasting time but it isn't the substance we should be focusing on, it's the problem solving skills that are developed by frequent game players. Life, after all, is not actually linear as books portray it to be but full of choice that determine what happens next.. much more like video games.

     Television
While television was previously known to cast one storyline throughout an episode (one that is "least objectionable") current shows now incorporate multithreading which is just a fancy word for multiple storylines. Viewers must keep track of different contexts and, quite often, different characters. Also, plotlines have become more developed in order to allow continuous entertainment after multiple viewings. There is a cognitive labor to fill in details of "in-show" jokes that are better understood after another viewing or only if you watch the show regularly or sometimes, requiring you to know bits of history of pop culture (ie The Simpsons or Family Guy.. although personally I am not a fan of either show). In addition, your memory skills are put to the test having to manage character relations that overlap in all sorts of ways. "Character trees" prove to us that shows from the past ain't got nothin' on the twisted shenanigans that go on between characters in current television. Even reality shows which are seen as the highest level of instant gratification garbage have their merits. These shows are developed for us to empathize with contestants and maybe even put ourselves in their place. This requires a different kind of intelligence: social intelligence in order to understand (and sometimes critique) what is happening on screen. Many people form silent alliances with characters in the show, thus proving that they have analyzed what is happening on screen and formed their own opinion.

     Internet
One sentence from the book pretty  much sums it up: "The rise of the Internet has challenged our minds in three fundamental and related ways: by virtue of being participatory, by forcing users to learn new interfaces, and by creating new channels for social interaction." Internet users are interacting with this fairly new medium instead of passively consuming them as with television. In addition, we must keep up with the accelerating pace of new platforms which force us to probe new environments (I'm not that clever, those words are directly from the book). These new forms of communication (IM, e-mail, etc.) have also allowed people to widen their social networks, in stark contrast to the preconceived notion that people on the internet a lot need to get out more.

     Film
While there has been a lot less progress in the film industry, it might be connected to the fact that its narratives are limited to two or three hours whereas television narratives unfold over multiple seasons, each with more than a dozen episodes. Video games also require an average of 40 hours to complete with complexity growing as the game progresses. However, one industry that has seen a high amount of development is children's films. Often, these now contain more main characters than before with more storyarcs that train the child to hold those multiple threads of consciousness, a kind of "mental calisthenics".

PART TWO
There's a pretty good wrap-up but I'm tired so this'll have to do:
This book does not aim to convince us that books should be replaced with media subcultura or that what is current is necessarily "good for us". Instead, he brings to light many examples where our popular culture is becoming more developed and that what we are ingesting by sitting in front of a screen for an hour is doing more than just melting our brain.

Journaling: Online Dating

Online dating is a weird thing. Apparently it's become widely accepted and I even read somewhere that 1 in 5 relationships started online. That's a weird thing.

Confession time. I signed up for an online dating service. Two, in fact. Although one required monthly payments and I'm just not about that. The other, which is free, has been a bit of a roller coaster. I signed up on a whim and then was too lazy to complete a profile so I uploaded a picture and left it at that. A week later, I signed back on and had 26 messages. It shocked me that so many people would be interested with only a picture to judge (I'm no troll but by no means a "babe" either). I perused some of their profile and was surprised at how not lame a bunch of them were. That's pretty rude but, I mean, what had I really expected out of the experience? Not to meet many winners, that's for sure.

Spent several hours figuring out the site, responding to messages and all that. It was interesting. I instigated conversation with one person whose profile impressed me. It made me nervous actually. But I literally had nothing to lose (save a little dignity) so I did it.

What's weird is that that one person ended up being the most interesting. After some light conversation, I thought to myself that I might actually be able to develop feelings for this person somewhere down the line.

That freaked me out.

I immediately disconnected myself from the dating website and now I'm here, contemplating. How could something of substance stem from an online encounter. It works for some people--I don't doubt that--but I absolutely can't see how it would work for me. He's one of those people that if I had met him in person first, I'd probably be mildly interested. But I didn't. I met him through a computer screen and that's weird. It's weird. Really weird.

I did what I thought was the cordial (aka chicken shit) thing to do and sent him a message saying I was gonna take a break from the site because I was a bit overwhelmed. He could e-mail me or find me through some other social media if he felt like it. But he hasn't. Not that he needs to; I probably wouldn't.

The other weird thing about online dating is that you never know how many other people they're talking to. I'm chatting with him but there are dozens of other guys sending me messages as well. Where does the exclusivity step in? If I ignore all these messages, am I being rude? Closing doors that may end up having more potential than this one I'm walking through right now? And how many girls are sending him messages? He's cute and interesting so why would he need to turn away from those? That would drive me nuts, to be honest. I'm not the jealous type but I like to know what kind of competition I'm dealing with. In online dating, there really is no way to know. Again, it's weird.

I just can't deal with it right now. Taking a two week sabbatical and then maybe I'll take another stab at it. Not holding my breath for this "interesting guy" but maybe there'll be others when I return.

Swept away.

I am the type to get carried away. With anything: hobbies, shopping, conversations, relationships. I can get so caught up in something I enjoy that I don't even realize when I've crossed a line (ie AFTER I've spent a whole month's paycheck in one shopping trip).

Anyway. Maybe that's why I put up with so much stuff. Why--against my better judgment--I let you be too busy for me or sometimes ignore me altogether. I don't mind keeping things light. It's generally where I'm most comfortable, tbh. But this is different. There is a huge disconnect between who are you now and who you were when we first started seeing each other. This means one of two things: you were either faking it then or you're faking it now. And it's hard to tell which is worse. Either you were putting on a "nice guy" act when we were courting and you're actually kind of an ass. Or you're a genuinely kind person that is ACTING like an ass to push me away.

The first thing my friends ask me when I explain our [casual dating, non-exclusive] situation is: are you happy? Well, I thought I was. I thought it was enough just to be with you. With whatever part of you you were willing to share with me. As time goes by, though, I'm starting to realize that I'm not actually happy. I think losing you would make me more unhappy. That's why I stay.

But what kind of foundation is that? For any relationship, I mean, even a casual one. I should be with someone that complements me (and compliments me). You do neither. You convinced me that you were not a typical guy, despite my initial impression of you being.. well, pretty much a typical guy. But I think I was right the first time. You are a good person. That is not up for debate as it's a separate category completely. I have no doubt that someday some (more ordinary, less complex) girl will be very lucky to have you. But maybe I need more. Maybe I deserve more. Because I'm complex. We talked about my layers. We talked about how it takes a while to figure me out. I thought you appreciated that. Or at least respected me for it. But maybe the top of the tree is too hard to climb to for you. I'm sure that you could get a wide array of "lower-hanging fruit" with ease. I thought that was something you admired about me. But maybe I was wrong.

I used to worry that no one would appreciate my complexity. You were a good catch, especially since you are a good person and that is a rare enough trait in itself. But someday someone will. It could've been you. I'd have let it be you. But I don't think you want to look any further into my soul. I guess you've seen enough.

And I got carried away. Swept off my feet by the person I thought you were. I lowered my guard and allowed myself to return your affections (when you still had affections for me) and now where am I?

Stuck.

When we're together, things feel different though. I'm happy in the moment. So how can I tell you what's actually going on in my head?

Walking on Egg Shells.

I'm sorry I'm obsessive.

I'm sorry I say the wrong thing (a lot).

I'm sorry I'm judgmental.

I'm sorry I put myself first sometimes.

I'm sorry I'm "lazy".

I'm sorry I can't always be figured out.

I'm sorry I like it that way.

I'm sorry I'm messy.

I'm sorry I'm not what you expected.

But most of all, I'm sorry you're getting to know the real me.

Life Truths.

Wrote this a year ago. Still think it's applicable though.

if there's one thing i can be sure i learned during my time in college, it's how to live in the real world. having grown up in a small community, my version of reality was different than the "reality" of reality. here are a few bits of wisdom i've collected over the past couple years.

pretty people actually ARE winners. despite what you've heard about "beauty being from within," the fact of the matter is that life is easier for the better looking. in fact, psychologists have given a name to this phenomenon: the halo effect. it's legit, google it.

working hard is for chumps. yup, i said it. once upon a time, i thought success was directly correlated to how much effort you put into something but i can attest to the fact that, in reality, it is not. successful people became that way through fortunate circumstances that worked in conjunction with enough genuine competence to yield good results.. not necessarily because they worked harder than the guy next to them.

cheaters will cheat and most of the time they won't get caught. screw the people that think "cheaters never prosper." they actually prosper in a very big way and there's nothing you can do to stop them. cutting academic corners is a trending theme on college campuses but who actually turns these people in?

as an addendum, infidelity also goes undetected for most people. such scandal only happened in tv shows or tabloids and never touched my life until my best friend had to face an STD panel because her long distance boyfriend was f*ing other girls for sport. now THAT is a harsh slap of reality. while i'm on it, forget fairy tales. that shit never happens for real.

nice people will finish dead last. sad truth, folks. jerks usually come out on top.

nepotism DOES make the world go 'round. while actual skills are required to get to the tippy top rung of the professional ladder--i mean, we need our best and brightest to actually be capable of something--knowing the right people can still take you leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else.

rules are only rules for people that choose to abide by them. in actuality, anyone can find a loophole if they look hard enough (or act cute enough).

the fact of the matter is that you will fail in life (hopefully only sporadically), life will be unfair to you (sometimes to your advantage, more oftentimes to your disadvantage), and there's pretty much nothing you can do about either. but that's how the cookie crumbles--what of it?

Youth is Wasted On the Young.

So what does it mean to be young? I honestly can't remember.

Just kidding--I'm not that old.

People always say not to grow up too fast. I never really considered that to be sage wisdom, but actually.. it kind of is. The time to be selfish is when you have no responsibilities. You can look out for just you and it won't be to the detriment of anyone else (we hope). I mean, no one is depending on you yet. It's the perfect time to travel, experiment.. just do things that may not be prudent later on.

I think a part of me is bothered that I'm not grown up (aka financially independent) yet. But the glass is actually half full. Living at home = no rent + free meals.. mostly. There'll be lots of time to be an adult but in the meantime, life should be enjoyed.. right?

To that end, it's really annoying when people pretend to be so grown up but really aren't. You can't feign maturity. And don't look down on me because I am trying to make the most of my youth. Putting myself above other people does not make me selfish. It makes me honest. And realistic.

But then again, people also can't stay kids forever. Eventually, you must acknowledge your responsibilities and take control of your life. I don't think there's a specific deadline for this, but I think once you're out of school.. you should also be out of the nest.

Maybe?

The Double-Edged Sword of Agreement.

Agreeing with what someone says is always the safe thing to do. No one is going to flip shit because you agree with them. (Well, maybe I might but I feel like I'm an outlier on this.) Anyway. But how far can you really get just agreeing with people? Professionally, no one graduates beyond "favorite pee-on" when they only agree with what the boss has to say. People need FRICTION to progress, especially in corporate America. Or anywhere, really. Sure you can be the number one sidekick but you'll stay a sidekick forever unless you prove your worth by fighting back (and being right, of course..)

Even in relationships, agreeing is not everything. Passion comes from fighting and without passion, you really have nothing. I hate having someone go along with everything I say just because they think it'll appease me. Grow a backbone, for crying out loud! I like to be pushed. It forces me to push back--which is half the fun of interacting with people, right? That constant push and pull of a relationship is what keeps things interesting. At least for me.

Overall, I think I like conflict.

That is all.