Youth is Wasted On the Young.

So what does it mean to be young? I honestly can't remember.

Just kidding--I'm not that old.

People always say not to grow up too fast. I never really considered that to be sage wisdom, but actually.. it kind of is. The time to be selfish is when you have no responsibilities. You can look out for just you and it won't be to the detriment of anyone else (we hope). I mean, no one is depending on you yet. It's the perfect time to travel, experiment.. just do things that may not be prudent later on.

I think a part of me is bothered that I'm not grown up (aka financially independent) yet. But the glass is actually half full. Living at home = no rent + free meals.. mostly. There'll be lots of time to be an adult but in the meantime, life should be enjoyed.. right?

To that end, it's really annoying when people pretend to be so grown up but really aren't. You can't feign maturity. And don't look down on me because I am trying to make the most of my youth. Putting myself above other people does not make me selfish. It makes me honest. And realistic.

But then again, people also can't stay kids forever. Eventually, you must acknowledge your responsibilities and take control of your life. I don't think there's a specific deadline for this, but I think once you're out of school.. you should also be out of the nest.

Maybe?

The Double-Edged Sword of Agreement.

Agreeing with what someone says is always the safe thing to do. No one is going to flip shit because you agree with them. (Well, maybe I might but I feel like I'm an outlier on this.) Anyway. But how far can you really get just agreeing with people? Professionally, no one graduates beyond "favorite pee-on" when they only agree with what the boss has to say. People need FRICTION to progress, especially in corporate America. Or anywhere, really. Sure you can be the number one sidekick but you'll stay a sidekick forever unless you prove your worth by fighting back (and being right, of course..)

Even in relationships, agreeing is not everything. Passion comes from fighting and without passion, you really have nothing. I hate having someone go along with everything I say just because they think it'll appease me. Grow a backbone, for crying out loud! I like to be pushed. It forces me to push back--which is half the fun of interacting with people, right? That constant push and pull of a relationship is what keeps things interesting. At least for me.

Overall, I think I like conflict.

That is all.

Welcome.

I've been postponing this inaugural post in the hopes that a unifying theme for this blog would manifest magically. Unfortunately.. nothing. So for the time being, here's what's currently sloshing around my noggin.

Perfection is overrated. 100%. When I was young--which in reality, was like 5 years ago--I always strived for perfection: perfect grades, perfect behavior.. perfect hair. Well, I actually haven't given up on that last one. Anyway, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The things that fall to the wayside during your quest for the holy grail are, a lot of times, much more important. More on this to come. (Probably a lot more, if I'm being honest. This disillusionment of the concept of "perfection" still plagues me all the time.)

I think I've never realized how messed up my head is. I don't trust people. Sounds cliche, I know. I guess learning to depend on me has had a greater effect on my overall psyche than I imagined. Especially when I am trying to let someone new into my life. It bothers me sometimes but I still think it necessary for basic survival on your own. I hate needing people. I hate depending on people. Especially when I know in the back of my mind that they don't have to be there tomorrow. Yeah.. pretty screwed up.

Life's a mess. I compare it to cleaning your room (or at least my room). Mostly because it needs to get messier before it can get cleaner. I think I'm in the "get messier" phase of my life right now. It's a jumble and sometimes I don't know what I'm looking at because there's avenues that have potential. First world problem? I know I'm lucky, it's just frustrating to try to make a decision that will (literally) affect the rest of my life.

Okay, I think that's enough for now. Stay tuned for more nonsensical ramblings!